How to choose wallpaper for a Winery Restaurant
We are building three new toilets for the Winery Restaurant. I'm told I can have "anything" and want wallpaper somewhere. I have ranked the wallpaper from 1 (acceptable to The Winemaker) to 10 (outrageously, completely unacceptable to The Winemaker).
The discussion yesterday with The Winemaker went something like this.
You know that vanity I bought on Facebook Marketplace last year that’s sort of 1960’s funky and didn’t get used in the B&B, could that go in the winery? (The one I drove to Brighton to collect and had to meet the owner there because the house was empty, and l left my phone in the garage, and after she left, I had to pull a wheelie bin over to the 10-foot fence to scale the fence to find my phone – that one?) No, the basin is too wide, needs a mixer but has three tap holes - and it’s too... too...I don't like it.
Wallpaper choice bounces right up to a cheesed off 2.
Well, what about the smaller vanity with the cupboard underneath that I bought on Facebook Marketplace and drove 60km to collect? The one with the self-closing drawer that doesn’t self-close but I’m sure you could fix it? No. It’s too small and we’ve plumbed in for the other vanity. Which vanity? The other vanity. (The “other” vanity is the one apparently already chosen by the Winemaker with the input of the Builder.)
Wallpaper choice skips right through to a huffy 4.
Darling, can I have panelling on the walls with a dado rail so I can put the wallpaper above the dado? Don’t be ridiculous the panelling won’t fit because it will make the rooms too narrow, and the dado railing will get in the way of the disability hand rail.
5, and dangerously close to a 6.
What about tiles? Where? Well, here, here and here. Don’t be ridiculous.
6 with a bullet.
I was thinking of putting a chandelier in the toilet entrance, you know, the pretty one with the twirly bits and the sparkly bits. Don’t be ridiculous, it will hang down too far and you won’t be able to open the door. Flush with the ceiling – buy something flush with the ceiling.
Wallpaper choice bounces up to a hostile 7.
Door handles? Light over the vanity? Paper towel dispenser?
8, 9 and 10. Bingo!
Choosing wallpaper is easy.